Divorce

 FAMILY RELATIONS 

December11, 2021

12
Divorce 

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Jocelynn Linton

          Hello again, and welcome back! I regret to inform all of you that this will be my last blog for a little while. The knowledge and insight that I have gained on family and marriage this last semester has been irreplaceable, and I have come to understand so much more. Many people (myself included before this course) often just assume that good incorrect information on families is readily available. However many of the stats are skewed, and the true facts are either hidden or not shared. I have loved every bit of insight and experience that my professor was so willing to share with us this semester. I hope that all of you have gained something from reading these blogs and have enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

          This week we only had one day of in class discussion which was difficult because we covered a very loaded and heavy topic. That being, Divorce. I learned a lot about this particular subject that had never crossed my mind previously. 

        Divorce is always hard. Even if it’s the best option for the couple and family in the long run. Those cases usually involve abuse or infidelity. Even if the divorce ends amicably. Something very interesting that I learned was that children whose parents ended the marriage peacefully are actually far more likely to be afraid of their marital success and future than those with parents who divorced in a nasty and messy way. Why, you may ask? This is usually because in the case of a friendly and amicable divorce, it is harder for the children to identify the problem. It just seems like things ended and there’s more of that fear of it could happen to me because the problem was not always made apparent to them. People now a days generally still want the same things that they did forty years ago. Kids, a spouse and a family. But, because of fear, people aren’t pursuing these wants as much. Something else that I found interesting was that my professor mentioned that almost every couple who chooses divorce regrets it. Over 70% of those surveyed two years after their divorce say that they could have and should have saved the marriage. There’s a very high likelihood that if you push through the hard things, then it’ll get better and your marriage will grow stronger.

    Another interesting factoid, was that most of the time, men are remarried much faster and more often than women.  Marriage is hard by design, it just is. A good marriage is not natural, it’s supernatural and as my professor so profoundly stated, “approaches the divine.” It is there, more than in any other relationship, that we have the potential to become Godly. 

    Selfishness is often the biggest cause of divorce. This doesn’t mean that both partners in the marriage were selfish. One selfish person has the potential to ruin the whole relationship. 

    Even though marriage is hard, it’s much better than the alternative and much better than just not getting married. THe data has shown that people who just “shack up” actually have less sex, higher depression rates, higher suicide rates and less joy than people who are married. Once again. Marriage is hard, the alternatives are harder.

    One of the best analogies that I’ve ever heard on the subject was shared by Professor Williams. I’m paraphrasing, but he said something along the lines of, “If you know that you’re going on a hike rather than a stroll, you’ll prepare for that hike. And you’ll probably enjoy it, though it will be more strenuous than a stroll.” I was really struck by this because I think so often, people are quick to assume that marriage is just going to be a walk in the park when in reality it is much more like a very strenuous hike. It’s obvious which one is more rewarding in the long run. You just need to make sure that you’re prepared for it.

That’s all I have time to cover for today, but I really hope you enjoyed reading and that it possibly answered some questions you may have had. 

Goodbye!