Parenting Skills

 FAMILY RELATIONS 

December 4, 2021

11
Parenting Skills

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Jocelynn Linton

Welcome back everyone! Today we will be discussing parenting skills as well as how much they have changed over the years. We will also be taking a look at how these new and modern parenting techniques are negatively affecting the children. 

          In the past, parents were often much sterner and strict with their children. Now days, these parenting approaches can seem out of date and even cruel or unfair. Often children would address their fathers as sir, and mom‘s word was gospel. In today's world there is so much information and instructions on how you should raise your children and what should not be done. Everywhere you look, people are desperately waiting to throw in their two cents and parenting advice. Unfortunately many new parents are choosing their parenting styles based on trends and popular opinions.

         Recently, parents have tried to do a much more relaxed parenting technique. Often coining the phrase, “I don’t want to raise my kids the way that I was raised.” While on the outside, this “gentle parenting’’ technique may seem innovative, research has shown that this is actually more detrimental than it is good. Not being direct and stern with your child actually causes children to feel as if their parents are not in control, thus leading to them feeling overwhelmed and insecure. Their survival instincts take charge and they feel the need to bring things into their own hands. This leads to more pouting and tantrums. 

    One specific example of this can be found in an article released by Maclean’s, in which a Dr. Leonard Sax recalls a particular visit to a restaurant in which he “overheard a father say to his daughter, “Honey, could you please do me a favour? Could you please just try one bite of your green peas?” To many people, this would have sounded like decent or maybe even sophisticated parenting—gentle coaxing formed as a question to get the child to co-operate without threatening her autonomy or creating a scene (macleans.com).” The article went on to explain, “the situation epitomized something much worse: the recent collapse of parenting, which he says is at least partly to blame for kids becoming overweight, overmedicated, anxious and disrespectful of themselves and those around them (macleans.com)” Parents are losing confidence in themselves and are instead depending on children to decide things for themselves that they are not yet old enough to decide.

    Now, let's discuss some ways to correct these parental errors by going over several parenting tips covered in Maclean’s video titled, Seven tips on regaining control of your kids. I will list them all and then briefly summarize the benefits of these tips.

         First, show your children how to be conscientious. Second, teach your child to be humble. Third, be firm with your children. Fourth, assign chores . Fifth, When choosing a vacation spot, go out and get lost. Sixth, Kids should learn humility, but that’s different from timidity. And Seventh, ask your child to be something rather than merely do something. (Maclean’s).

    The above shared tips are all so important in rearing strong and independent children who aren’t pushovers or on the other extreme bossy and stubborn. When you correctly show your children who is boss, you are actually instilling in them a sense of security. 

    Yet another parenting tip discussed was that you really need to show your children that you love them. Letting them know that they are loved and valued will also allow them to grow and mature without feeling lost and overwhelmed. Failing to demonstrate your love to your children can result in them turning to other (often less desirable) sources for validation and acceptance that they so crave.

    As mentioned earlier, far too often parents are now taking the advice of others when it comes to every aspect of their parenting. Whether that be their in-laws, the internet, friends or church acquaintances. In the end, you know your child best, and it should be up to you and your spouse to decide together how best to raise your children.